Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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