i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize