shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
