Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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