Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im holly from the hills drunk
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
