whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
