There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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