I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
