my vag is so smooth its legendary
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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