Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
