Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
