Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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