So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize