Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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