We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
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I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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