I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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