I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
