there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize