I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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