Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize