I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
