somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
