Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
