So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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