Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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