too bad you live with your parents still
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
