Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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