I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
