I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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