I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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