May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
