she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
my liver is dry heaving
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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