I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
