It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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