Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
