is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
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