It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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