AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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