I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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