i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
