My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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