your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
