used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
