i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
