you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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