This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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