Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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