I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
