At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
