you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
