Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
