Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
