My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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