He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
