i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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