my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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