Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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