Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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